the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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