So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
