After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
