You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
