he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
