I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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