You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
