you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
