the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
