just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
