You're completely useless in the revolution.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize