She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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