i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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