Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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