last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
