girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize