You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
