was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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