you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize