She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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