So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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