I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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