Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
