i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
