My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize