I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
