TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
