I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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