Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
