i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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