i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
