Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
