I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
