ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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