Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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