Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
