So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize