32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize