Rock
Scissors
Fuck
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize