I'm so fucking centered right now
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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