it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize