So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
