I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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