lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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