So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize