Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
