He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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