who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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