You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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