Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
