I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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