wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
