i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
