Jerry, you need to find god
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I party with great urgency now.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
