im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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