definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
