Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize