when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fuck appropriateness.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
