He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
