For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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