dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
