was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
